I don't know, I was doing fine most of the day. I've had some spotting off and on the last 2 days...I don't know if it's implantation bleeding or my period coming. I want to say it's my period coming-just the way my luck seems to be, I guess. My cat, Smokey (the one just recuperated from his injury) has been missing for 6 days now. Lovely, isn't it? Someone either stole my cat or he's dead.
Had the interview Tuesday. As soon as I get in there, they tell me how sorry they are for the loss of Marissa (Susan had told them about it). I started crying..at an interview..isn't that wonderful.. Everything went very well after that...I just told them I was nervous, and hearing someone just say her name outloud caught me offguard. Will find out something next week.
So for today..I was pretty good. Feeling bummed thinking I'm getting another period, but if it happens..it happens. Nothing I can do about it, and I guess I can't expect to get pregnant as quick as we did with Marissa. I was posting goofy messages on the message boards, and decided to go check out one I hadn't been to in awhile. Some gal put on there how when she had her last ultrasound, that they got pics of her babygirl yawning. I messaged back saying I had some pics of Marissa 'talking'..how she was just in their flapping her jaws, and we had a really nice tech that day who gave us a bunch of pictures showing her mouth opening and closing. As soon as I hit send, I started crying. It's just not fair. I keep seeing babies, pregnant women..blah...I really can't stand any of them-but love seeing them at the same time. It's horrible, really...and I still feel, 2 months later, I have no control whatsoever.
Went to dinner with Kim, Donald, the boys, and Kaitlynne. Didn't really say too much. It's hard on Kim cuz she can't understand (tho she's empathetic to it) why I am the way I am...where did 'I' go? When will 'I' be back....never. I'll never be back.
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