Alex and I went to lunch at Sonny's. We live a pretty decent life, tho we whine about never having enough money. I know I personally don't know anyone who ever has 'enough' money...lol. After picking up Kaitlynne, we headed off to her doc appointment. I changed her meds again-lessening them to one's that I've seen are effective. I'm crossing fingers-I'd love to wean her off of them, eventually...see where life takes us on that one. She saw her counselor today-actually talked some, that's an improvement. I wish I had more money-could get her better counseling. Guess I should be happy she gets anything. I dropped her prescriptions off at Walgreens, and had to do the waiting game, so I went to Wal-mart. I delayed going there-thought of going somewhere else, but decided to just go and do 'it'. By 'it' I mean I took Marissa's hospital picture back to the Kodak picture-maker and made more wallet-sizes. This-is a huge step for me. In order for me to GET this picture, I had to go in the nursery. The nursery that stays behind a locked-door. Kim was here for a few minutes after school today-she came in the nursery with me. I showed her the picture and a few things the hospital gave me. I think she only looks at these things for me, because part of her knows I NEED to show them to people. I NEED to know that Marissa doesn't have to be swept under a rug so as to not upset anyone. You don't get better friends then that, you know? People who let you talk about something that makes them uncomfortable, but they listen to you anyway. Just listen. Let you, be you. I'm gettin teary-eyed, lemme get back to Wal-mart.
I make the extra 18 wallet-size (I can't believe how many people want one of these-goes back to the I need to show Marissa off..). I wanted to make a disc so that I had her picture online, but I needed help. The woman from the photo lab comes over, asks for the picture. I hesitated. I handed it to her, and she just took in a deep breathe...she finally said 'how beautiful is she', and had tears in her eyes. I begged her not to do that, it was taking every ounce of willpower for ME not to break down doing this. She just kept saying how sorry she was, and told me they see this nearly every day (that's a VERY SAD thought...so many other destroyed families...). She made me the disc, as well as a blowup, free of charge. I just paid for the wallets (at my own insistance). Everyone's been so wonderful-I hope that I can be like that for someone....give them a little bit of faith restored in the human race.
Mom, Kaitlynne, and I went and had a Greek salad today while I was waiting for her pills to finish. That was pretty good, haven't had one in awhile.
**5 minute break taken**
We're planning a day-trip to Busch Gardens with Kim and Donald. They have 2 year passes for Busch Gardens and Seaworld, we're just doing the 1 year pass you get for being a FL resident w/ purchase of a 1 day ticket. I'm looking forward to it-I know Alex has been dying to ride a roller coaster. I'm passing on the coasters this time (tho I love em). I'm just taking precautions in case I *am pregnant, and also to keep Kim company cuz she IS pregnant. I know we'll have a good time-they have plenty to do besides coasters. As long as I'm with Alex and my good friends, I'll be happy. Mom is keeping Kaitlynne, going to take her to Fun Factory or maybe Chucky Cheese-she'll have a blast.
On a side note: today I was in line to check out at Walmart, the woman beside me at the other register had a small baby, maybe 5-6 mos old. The lil man smiled at me-and it was then I knew for sure that I'd have another baby soon. I can't explain it, I'm sure it sounds corny...but I just knew. I teared up, but in a good way. It was like a sign from Marissa to let me know to keep my chin up-she was right there with me...
**Quick add-on to this entry: Alex, before you ask why I didn't tell you what all I did today-it's because I know talking about Marissa upsets you and you prefer not to right now-and I respect that-I love you. And to any of my friends who would like to see a picture of our beautiful baby girl, email me.**
No comments:
Post a Comment