I dunno about today...on the 'verge'. Of what, I don't know. Alex and I did our grocery shopping and went to dinner last night while mom kept Kaitlynne. Mom stayed the night since Kaitlynne had her first t-ball game today w/ the BBQ. Game was ok-kinda got annoyed that the coach didn't really instruct the kids very well-see what next game brings. Had to listen to some bitch that screwed Kim over talk all about baby this baby that (Kim and Donald were there, too-their boys are on the same team as Kaitlynne). I just kinda backed-off...let Kim have her moment in the spotlight, so to speak. This all really sucks. The part of me that's her friend is trying so hard...I'm so happy for her, this will be her last baby, I want her to enjoy her pregnancy. The part of me who is wearing a beautiful pendant w/ her baby's remains in it is so pissed, jealous, hurting so terribly bad... I know Kim could tell what was going on-we went up to get our food together and she smiled and said something about the nerve of the woman coming up and talking to her at all...
Susan called, asked me to come over today for awhile. She's home w/ just her and the baby for the weekend. I thought cool deal at first, then Alex said maybe that wouldn't be a good idea for me just yet. I said I honestly didn't know if it would be or not. Here we still sit at quarter after 2pm...maybe it's not such a good idea, especially w/ today's frame of mind.
Miracles do happen, even in the deepest moments of despair. Niki's pregnant. This (tho yes, she joined the group of folks I love, but can't stand at the same time) is WONDERFUL news! I pray for nothing but a beautiful healthy baby for her and her husband. Carolyn thinks she might be pregnant, too. Maybe all the March angel mommy's will be due in November-wouldn't that be a hoot. I can only hope to see those 2 beautiful lines soon...
Think I'll stop at this for now...I've found that the 'verge' I'm standing on is the brink of reality, and the brink of the dark hell in my heart....need distraction to stay afloat, so I'll check back later.
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