Got a visitor...

Bout dang time AOL let me to my journal...kept saying page not found..pfft.  Ok, let's start the updating:

My precious kitty is doing MUCH better.  Cost a pretty penny, so he is now officially an investment.  Still has a small sore on his tongue and on antibiotics, but eating and healing nicely.  Blood work came back fine, so it was nothing ingested.

I do believe as of yesterday, AF has made her first appearance since giving birth to Marissa (AF=Aunt Flo=period).  This, surprisingly, is a good thing.  It means that 1) my body is healing nicely and after 1 regular cycle it's said to be safe to conceive and 2) that we now have a timeframe to attack each other-ovulation days.  Never thought I'd say I was happy to see my period, and I NEVER thought, after everything that's happened, I'd put 'hopeful' in the mood box up there. 

My heart still hurts every day that Marissa isn't here.  I actually had to go back and re-read the journal entry from the day I got out of the hospital because my mind is slowly blocking bits and pieces out.  Then I feel guilty like I'm forgetting her-Alex says we're just moving on with life.  I know we have to, and I think I am..most days, anyway.  Sometimes I sit here and one little thing will trigger it..and I have to put the away message up and the cell set to voicemail-just can't talk to anyone.  Kim won the babyweek at walmart bassinett with a bunch of stuff in it...very cool.  I was actually able to go in that room where she keeps her baby stuff with her and look at it and talk just fine.  This will sound stupid to anyone else, but I miss 'me'....the 'me' that died with my daughter.  Alex says he didn't get much time w/ me before I was pregnant-was kinda glad to have some 'us' time...it's too bad that the 'me' that was-isn't.  I hope I'm still good for him-he seems happy with us...I know I am, very much so.

Eh, that's enough of this for now...today's been fairly decent, I don't want to ruin it.  We got our Busch Garden/Sea World passes today.  Going Saturday to Busch Gardens with Kim and Donald, then Alex and I are going for a couple days to Orlando (I got a free hotel night stay, picked the one w/ the hot tub), and we're goin to Sea World.  I'm very much looking forward to it...so different having a guy that likes to go out and do things instead of sit in a chair, drinking himself to death....