What if...

I've been sitting here all night, not talking to anyone but Kaitlynne.  Now, as she's been sleeping for 2 hours, I've been sitting here staring at the screen.  I've got myself totally convinced that there will not be good news tomorrow...just seems to be the way the week is heading.  I'm so scared, and I have no one to talk to about it.  Mostly because I just don't feel like talking to anyone about it, I guess.  The one I want to talk to about it, I can't.  Hurts too bad.  Atleast no one's here to witness the hormonal mess crying at the keyboard like an idiot.  No one.  I pray I'm wrong, I wish this whole week could start over.  Alot of things could start over, with me knowing now what I didn't know then.  Probably wouldn't make a difference, tho.  People will do as they do, things will happen as they happen...I can't stop them.  I can't stop anything.  Powerless.  Hurt.  Scared.  Alone.