Had the u/s today. Had asked Alex to make sure he was with me 'just in case' of bad news. 'Just in case' turned out to be the 'the case'. We were informed that the little dream of today is in fact a blighted ovum (meaning the cells stopped dividing somewhere along the way-no baby, empty sac). I lost it-again. How many times can deserving parents be kicked while they are down, while crackheads and 13 year olds reproduce and lightening-speed. Again, told there was nothing I could have done differently, this is very common. Very common...another statistic. Another FUCKING statistic. Anyone know just how many statistics are out there for those who 'couldn't have done anything differently' so I know which one to prepare for next?
Doctor recommended a D & C (surgery to have the 'slate wiped clean' so to speak..lovely...). Monday morning, 630am. Said we could try again right away that way, with no concern for 'leftover tissue' affecting a new pregnancy. Swears that once I get past 12 weeks, I'll be fine. He'll take good care of me. He's so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Alex is doing well with it..again. Atleast one of us isn't nuts.
Don't feel like writing anymore. Thought about getting totally trashed today-opted not to. I feel trashed enough without.
Sorry to all those I built up with excitement. I won't tell anyone next time...atleast until I get to a 'safe' point. If there is such a thing.
5 comments:
I'm so sorry for your loss...Having been there done that..And good luck with future attempts. ~S~
It's Melissa from the Feb board. Wanted to send lots of {{{{}}}}} your way. This must be so hard for you guys :-( Don't give up! Before I got preg with Ayana I miscarried. I honestly feel Ayana was the spirit of my first baby who came back again. I think maybe Marissa will be back with her family soon. ( I hope this made sense)
I can't even tell you how sorry I am. You do not deserve this at all. I can only pray that next time you will get the wiggling little baby in the end. I'll be thinking about you.
Awww Im so sorry...this is not fair to you. You deserve so much more than that. I will continure to keep you in my prayers. Lots of love and HUGS to you!
Hi you dont know me but someone who knows my situtaion e-mailed me your journal because she said that I knew ALL to well what you were going through. I have 4 healthy little boys (10,7,5 & 3) never had any problem Ok DS#3 was a Preemie but not too sure why he was small when he came out but healthy as can be & still is healthy thankfully! Anyways in 2003 I became PG & was told at an early U/S that I indeed had a Blighted Ovum inside of me. I couldnt believe this didnt know ANYONE that had ever had this didnt know ANYONE that even had a MC so this was shocking! After 4 kids WHY? WHY did this have to happen? OB chalked it up as it was "Bad timing". Like you WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? Anyways in 2004 I became PG again but this time for the 1st time in my LIFE I was put on 50mgs of Clomid...WHY may I ask when if a BO is a "freak thing" & I have had 4 kids WHY would I need Clomid??? I didnt ask took it got PG the 3rd mth that I was on it ONLY to hear once again Blighted Ovum! Ummmm hello I was told there was a 2% chance of EVER having 2 BO in a row then WHAT THE HELL happened with me? Statics gotta love em'! Yes both BO's I had DnC's done also I couldnt believe I had to go to the hsp have this done & leave with NOTHING it made me sick! So since the 2nd BO I have been TTC for 10mths now I have tried 50mgs,100mgs & I am now on 150mgs of Clomid & still nothing. Anyways my point of writing this ALL to you is that there IS hope at the end. You will have the baby of your dreams some day soon. DONT give up keep fighting for what you want & it will happen! I am sure your saying "yeh yeh yeh I have heard this how many times" but thats the way that I get through everyday. I say "If it is going to happen it will". Please try to stay strong & know that there is many people out there that are here for you.
Good Luck to you if you ever need me I am here LuLuJyJyNoNoEj@aol.com
Carolyn
SAHM to 4 BOYS
Blighted Ovums 08/03
Post a Comment