...and the rest.

I'm adding the rest of the pics from Christmas (visiting Alex's family, I didn't get pics at Tina's house tho I remember carrying my camera around?, and a couple of pics at Kim's mom's house).  Overall, it was a good Christmas-kids didn't act up nearly as badly, and I didn't have any further meltdowns the rest of the day.  I think it helped to have Kim's babies around..I usually just grab one and let them be my surrogate.

Kim and I went shopping with the babies the day after Christmas-didn't find much, tho.  Not that it was sold out, they just didn't have much left from before Christmas.  I got two packages of bulbs (cat's broke 6), and a few other little things that were on sale (perfumes, etc..).  We went to lunch after, then I called Alex and asked him to bring the girls to town w/ him when he went to work so I could pick them up then spent the rest of the evening out at Kim's house.  I know she appreciates the company (and help with the babies-the newness has worn off for Donald-he doesn't do much with them now), and I appreciate the distraction (for my mind, and for the girls).

Kaitlynne's having a lot of trouble getting along with children right now, and I'm not sure why, exactly.  Some of it's on her part, some on the other kids' part.  It's hard to watch your child get left to the side time and again...I know part of it is she is having some trouble (might have to adjust the med I just had adjusted) with her behaviors...I don't know.  My instinct is to protect her first and foremost...but it's not looking like I can.  Like today, after a big event, I kept her inside w/ me and played Candyland with her.  We played about 6 games when I told her I had to cook dinner.  She begged to go outside w/ the other kids...even after they were all so mean to her.  She desperately wants to play with the other kids, even if it means she gets her feelings hurt time and again...that just kills me.  I told her to go ahead, but not to come back in 5 minutes later.  As far as I know, it was uneventful outside.  Girls came back about 1/2 later, had to adjust a certain blonde's meanass attitude she got from her cousin, then they did ok.  Kaitlynne came out and watched tv w/ me, Katie played in her room watching tv. 

Alex and I have spoken about moving to town at the end of the year, but that pisses me off, too.  How dare they drive us away out here!  This is NOT their property, and neither are we.  I'm tired of the bitchy mother, nitpick ass father, and two meanspirited kids...and yep, that's Alex's family I'm talking about.  I hate saying that about his family, but I'm saying it as a neighbor to a neighbor more then anything.  I'm praying that his father gets our bigger home out here and then we'll fence it in.  Keep all others OUT. 

Tomorrow's Kaitlynne's speech appt, and then my ultrasound.  I'm terrorified.  The closer it gets, the more scared I get.  Tho I have no reason to think anything is wrong (pregnancy has been ok thus far), I have every reason to think something's wrong...I know, doesn't make much sense if you haven't been down the road I've been on.  I want to think that after hearing good news tomorrow, I'll be fine.  I doubt I'll be fine til this baby's born, grown, and I'm gone.  Kids..argh..gotta love em (since we're having 12, right honey?).

I guess that's all for now...might write more later...my mind's sort of jumbled right now.  Fighting hormones and kids...