<There is no subject>

I'm listening to my daughter's breathing as she's sleeping.  It's hard to imagine it's been over 7 yrs since I had her..she's growing up too quickly.  And now there's another baby coming...everyone's thrilled, including myself.  However, in the back of my mind I wonder how I'm going to make sure both kids know I love them equally.  It's been Kaitlynne and I for so long...I don't want the new baby to feel I don't love him/her the same, or for Kaitlynne to feel I don't love her as much.  I'm sure it will all work out..I always wanted more kids, I guess it's just still hard to believe it's actually happening.

Tomorrow is the ultrasound.  Only 'supposed' to bring 2 people with me, however, along with daddy and I, there will be Kaitlynne, my mom, and my friend.  Guess they'll have to take turns coming in....LOL.  Daddy doesn't want to find out the sex with us, so I know he (and Kaitlynne *repeater*) will be going out for that one, assuming baby cooperates.

Baby kicks up a storm now...every once in awhile it can be felt on the outside, but never seems to let daddy feel it (did once, not since then..just reaffirms my belief that it's a lil girl..LOL).  Still battling this sinus infection...this is week 6.  My doc wants me to go to see an Ear, Nose, & Throat specialist, but I have to wait for my primary doc to see me to refer me to this person.  I don't see her until December.  So...it's pretty much a hurry up and wait (and suffer) deal.  My blood pressure goes wacky..usually spikes at night (like right now)...then ok during the day.  Already on partial bedrest from the bleeding, which happens once in awhile still, but not as much as before.  I had the high BP with Kaitlynne, but otherwise, an 'uneventful' pregnancy....wierd how they are all different...

The latest cravings:  OJ (by the gallons), eggs, bologna/cheese sandwiches, beefsteak tomatoes, salads, subs.  I've gotten lucky with this pregnancy, too, as far as not craving sweets.  My booty is big enough w/out that...LOL.  I'm 22 weeks today, total weight gain is 16lbs.

"Jump thru the hoop"

Went to the doc today for this f'n sinus infection that's now been keeping me company for 5 weeks..and for the bp that jacks up when it dayum well feels like it....thanks to my wonderful insurance company, I get to sit..and suffer w/ the sinus for atleast 2 more months.  BP..well..that's an ongoing problem..but who gives a shit, right...this must be my punishment for screwing everything little damn thing up..I don't know how people around me survive as well as they do, knowing such an f'n idiot like myself.  Tired of being the punching bag...y'all having a bad day?  Did ya screw something up, perhaps, and don't feel like owning up to it yourself?  Well yanno what..TAKE YOUR SHIT ELSEWHERE..I don't give a flying flip anymore.  Been here, done it..got the f'n t-shirt and BURNED IT along w/ the 'me' that stood around and put up w/ this shit.

So tired...

Get up every day..take the kid to school..come back..sleep or sit and wait..for what, I don't know.  Eat lunch, go get kid from school, come back..sit and wait..for what, I don't know.  Sit on the computer, looking to keep company..for what, I don't know..my company is not needed nor wanted.  Been here before..so tired..

Just another day..

Adding another day to the chapter..(see, I do write in this thing occasionally, Alex).  Oct. 2nd came and went...2 yrs w/out Kevin.  I'm not with his Dad anymore, but the pain of it all is the same as it was the day it all happened.  I called to check on Matt, but he wasn't home and didn't get a chance to call me back...and yanno, that doesn't bother me at all.  Makes me feel good to know he's out there, living his life...hopefully the scars of what he's seen and been thru won't screw up his entire life.  Belly's getting bigger, usually feel ok, sometimes my back starts hurting.  Wierd cravings are going to kill me..not what I want, but when I want it...all Alex's fault for working late...LOL.  Guess that's about it...love you, Kev...your sister is doing great, keep up the excellent work of watching over her.

~Me~

Blah

Had a doc appt. yesterday.  Not sure why I had bled, but going to keep an 'eye' on it.  Have my ultrasound set for 10/12.  Can't wait, not just cuz I want to find out the sex of the baby, but I want to have a picture or something to show people.  My babyshower has been set for 10/31 (halloween..lol..during the day tho), my friend's Tina and Kim are throwing it for me.  Other then giving the list of who I want there, and registering, that's all I know about it---should be a blast tho!

That's it for now.  Oh, Kait had her physical today.  67 lbs and 4 and a half feet tall..goodness..kids an amazon..lol.

Just a' typin..

Enjoy the mugshot..LOL..I'm apparantly bored.  Anywho, quick update.  Had a scare last week w/ the pregnancy..had to go to the hospital at midnight cuz I started bleeding.  Luckily, after 4 hours, we saw the baby on ultrasound and s/he's fine.  They aren't sure what caused it, most likely stress.  I go next Tuesday to the doc for followup, so we'll see.  Hoping to be able to find out soon what I'm having.  S/O doesn't want to know..should be interesting to see if my family and friends can keep it secret (me too, for that matter) lol.  Not feeling nearly as queasy, so I really have to watch what I eat (cuz I want to eat everything..LOL).  Not really, most cravings have been salads and eggs..tons of eggs...lol.  We just got done w/ dealing w/ Hurricane Frances.  Got really bad here...bout as bad as I've seen Ocala get.  We lost a lot of shingles on our roof, causing the insulation in the attic to get wet and heavy-caved in the ceiling in the closet of my daughter's room.  Also, trees galore down!  We didn't have power or water for 4 days.  Got it back around 530pm last night...talk about a huge relief!  We all came in to the air conditioned house and fell asleep (it had been so damn hot in here before, couldn't sleep).  Luckily, we rent this house so we don't have to pay to fix it.  However, I still can't get ahold of the dadgum rental company..LOL.  Anywho, guess that's enough ramblin' for now.  {Peace}

Back in the saddle...

Wow, it's been almost a year since I wrote in this thing...I actually forgot I had it..LOL.  Things have changed...left my idiot husband back in November of 2003, been with a couple people since then, now with a good guy since May of this year.  We're expecting a child in Feb. 2005.  Really tired of feeling like total crap, but happy to be having another child.  Anywho, can't think of a whole lot else to say right now..maybe later...